#health consequences unknown

[phd-in-disinformation]

MEDICAL INFORMATION QUALITY RATING:

Source(s): 0/4

Authenticity/Timeliness: 1/4

Emotionality: 2/4

Other: Joke (J+)

Total: 3/12 (J+) Information Quality: Poor Consideration: Likely disinformation from an AI regurgitating an Onion article. This post is clearly satire.

---

Explanation: The information provided is likely from this Onion article. Despite the evident satire, it appears that cultural consumption of different kinds of earth is not unheard of (1; 2). The first citation states that people may eat rocks because of anemia, GI distress, or cravings. However, health consequences of this behaviour are not well known.

---

Lower scores do not necessarily indicate mis- or disinformation, only that the way the information is provided should be considered critically. Always maintain skepticism and complete further research in all cases. Visit this blog for further details on rating system. I may make mistakes sometimes.

they told me not to eat rocks but google has my back

[hayanahed]

Emergency: Help Evacuate My Family From GAZA WAR

Dear Humanity,

I'm Haya from Gaza , from a family of 8 people: my parents, two sons, and four daughters (two of them suffer from allergies).

I've witnessed the evidence of the tragedy that has struck our lives in Gaza, where my family and I have survived amidst numerous previous wars. But today, we face the most dangerous and fierce battle in the current war. The urgent need intensifies for us, as we have nothing left and are unable to secure our basic needs such as food, water, and safe shelter.

Here is our story - On October 7th, our lives changed forever, my family and I evacuated from northern Gaza to southern Gaza, hoping to return soon, but it wasn't meant to be. Our home was surrounded, burned, and then completely destroyed, Our home, once a fortress of hope, now lay in ruins, a stark reminder of our shattered dreams.

The night before we left from the north to the south was terrifying. Shelling sounds were everywhere, making a loud noise that felt like it went through our souls. Every explosions shook the ground like earthquakes, sending shockwaves of fear through our trembling bodies. filling us with fear. The air smelled of destruction and blood, making it hard to breathe. When dawn came, we saw the devastation around us, realizing our home was now a symbol of loss and despair.

We ran into the streets and with each step we took into the unknown streets, we felt as if we were plunging deeper into the abyss of our shattered existence, leaving behind everything we own in our home: Clothes, important official documents, the car, and literally it's almost everything - the enormity of our loss weighed heavily upon us.

Our home it was where we found hope, safety, and made precious memories. Losing it felt like losing years of our lives, leaving us adrift amidst the wreckage of our shattered existence.

A brief video depicting the devastation that struck our home and our entire neighborhood in Gaza.

Desperate Plea: Escaping Gaza's Allergy Nightmare

I, Haya, suffer from severe allergy to penicillin-derived medications, and my sister, Amal, also suffers from severe allergies to medications from my family such as Paracetamol and Ibuprofen.

These allergies create a deep sense of fear and anxiety for us, as we live in a constant state of tension and fear of anything that may require a visit to the hospital. We fear being given inappropriate medications due to the unavailability of suitable treatments in Gaza because of war or lack of awareness and not informing the doctor of our allergies, which could lead to serious consequences threatening our lives.

MY Father Income

Our dreams are heading towards oblivion in the labyrinth of an uncertain future

My story, along with my siblings, represents a united team of four individuals, three of whom are skilled programmers and one graphic designer. We work as freelancers in the world of freelancing.

As for my younger sister, she is a student studying at the College of Architecture. She has always carried a big dream in her heart, a dream of being part of changing Gaza, of making it more beautiful and better. She looked forward to the day when she would receive her degree and start building this dream. But the beginning of the war changed everything. The destruction of infrastructure and universities cast shadows of despair over her dreams.

When I think of my brother in Belgium, I can't help but feel deep sadness. He has been suffering from unbearable anxiety and insomnia since the outbreak of the war. Sleep eludes him at night, and his physical and mental health collapses under the weight of these heavy burdens, negatively affecting his performance at work. Problems and challenges pile up in front of him without the slightest opportunity for rest.

We all feel psychological pressure and extreme anxiety. The war hasn't been limited to external attacks but has deeply infiltrated our daily lives. We search among the rubble for a little safety and the basic resources for survival. Every day comes with a new challenge that we must overcome.

As we sway amidst the rubble of shattered dreams, our souls wrestle and our hearts beat strongly challenging the ravages of war.

Our parents earnestly seek a way to rescue us from this hell, feeling the heavy responsibility for every moment we spend under the shadows of fear and destruction. They dream of a safe place where they can build for us a better future, filled with security and hope, for we deserve life in all its meanings of comfort and peace.

Perhaps this fundraising campaign represents a light in the midst of darkness, it is indeed the only hope we cling to firmly.

I appeal to the world as a whole to hear my cry and the mournful cry of my family in Gaza. We need the helping hand that reaches out to wipe our tears and build a bridge to safety.

Your donation is not just a donation; it's an opportunity to rebuild life and brighten a better tomorrow. Be part of our hopeful story, for we need your hand to start anew.

The purpose of the fundraising campaign

The goal of this fundraising campaign is to rescue my family - my parents, my siblings, and me - through the Rafah Crossing to Egypt, which currently requires $5000 per person. This campaign is our only chance to stay alive, and I humbly request your assistance at this critical time. I will provide you with a comprehensive breakdown of the expenses, committing to transparency and clarity.

All of our important links are here https://linktr.ee/hayanahed

Verified by :

⭐️ operation olive branch, number 26 on their spreadsheet. (On Master list)

⭐️ Project watermelon,line 249 on their spreadsheet. Or you could see it as number 212 here is the photo for more clear proof

Thank you for your kindness and support.

.جزاكم الله خيراً

yours sincerely;

Haya Alshawish.

[sensualnoiree]

1st House: The Helm This is where your spiritual energy and identity take the spotlight. The 1st House governs your appearance, personality, and vitality—the essence of how you project yourself to the world. It’s your steez, your approach to life, and the first impression you make on others. The 1st House is all about beginnings, the mask you may unknowingly wear, and how you come to know yourself on a deep authentic level. The captain of this ship is the ruling planet of the zodiac sign residing there.

2nd House: Gate of Hades Your values, self-esteem, and ability to attract wealth are all tied to the 2nd House. This is where your personal resources, possessions, and financial matters come into play. The foods you eat, your saving and spending habits, and your sense of self-worth are all part of this house. It’s where your style and material wealth are rooted, reflecting how you value yourself and what you own. This house represents how you sustain for yourself, how you support all that the first house needs of you to be who you are.

3rd House: Goddess The 3rd House is the domain of communication, early education, and the mind. It governs how you gather and process information, your intellect, and your interactions within your community. This house also encompasses your relationships with siblings, short travels, and technical skills. It’s the space where your to-do list and daily mental activities take shape.

4th House: Subterranean Deeply connected to your roots, the 4th House represents your home, heritage, and ancestry. It’s where your inner life and sense of security are nurtured, influenced by your upbringing and relationship with your parents—especially the mother. This house also relates to land, generational gifts, and knowledge passed down through the family. It’s a space of femininity and the feminine energies in your life. This is the lowest point of the birth chart and can be fairly private and personal-as opposed to the 10th house. It holds up the rest of the chart and is incredibly important in terms of learning about our sense of security/stability emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

5th House: Good Fortune Joy, creativity, and self-expression flourish in the 5th House. This is where you experience the pleasures of life—love affairs, children, art, and entertainment. It’s the house of flirtation, play, and drama, where your passions come to life. The 5th House also governs leisure activities, fertility, and the pursuit of happiness through creative endeavors. A sense of nostalgia lives here too.

6th House: Bad Fortune The 6th House deals with work, health, and daily routines. It’s the space of labor, servitude, and the duties that never seem to end. This house also governs how you care for your body, deal with illness and injury, and interact with employees or pets. It’s where the unexpected challenges in life arise, requiring your attention and resilience. Look here for understanding on what great works you may find yourself committing to.

7th House: Setting Place Relationships take center stage in the 7th House. This is where you finally begin to truly engage with others, forming long-term commitments, whether in marriage, partnerships, or friendships. It’s the house of open enemies, where you face the other in life. The 7th House also governs relaxation, romance, and the deep bonds that define your connections with others.

8th House: The Idle Place Death, transformation, and shared resources are key themes in the 8th House. It’s where you confront karma, contracts, and generational lessons. This house also deals with loans, debts, and the deep psyche—the mysteries and fears that lie beneath the surface. The 8th House is a place of soul material, where you explore the unseen and the unknown. Here, you face all consequences-positive & negative- of the 7th house and the relationships, contracts, and potential enemies made there. This is the house of others esteem of you, opposite of the 2nd.

9th House: House of God The 9th House is your portal to higher knowledge, philosophy, and spiritual exploration. It governs your worldview, ethics, and the pursuit of truth through study, travel, and discovery. This house is where you connect with religion, spirituality, and the higher mind, expanding your understanding of the world and your place in it.

10th House: House of Praxis Your public life, reputation, and career are shaped by the 10th House. It’s where you strive for honor, recognition, and achievements that define your legacy. This house also relates to your relationships with authority figures, particularly the father, and how you navigate the public sphere. The 10th House is where your goals, fame, and business acumen are realized. Sitting at the very top of the chart, like the sun at noon high in the sky, all can see you here.

11th House: Good Spirits In the 11th House, your hopes, dreams, and social networks come to life. This house governs your friendships, group affiliations, and the communities you belong to. It’s where you connect with humanity, receive sudden blessings, and find support in your aspirations. The 11th House is also associated with gifts, riches, and the imagination needed to dream big.

12th House: Bad Spirits The 12th House is a place of retreat, isolation, and self-undoing. It’s where you confront your inner shadows, secrets, and hidden enemies. This house governs institutions, mental health, and the need for solitude or seclusion. It’s also a space of psychological development, where you deal with endings, sickness, and the unseen forces that shape your life journey. This house is in a blind spot to the first house of Self and that is why we can be blind to the very things that reside here. Its not so much that these things seek out to destroy you but any area of your life your are deeply unaware of can come back and disorientate you from who you believe yourself to be.

follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or my etsy --> sensualnoiree to grab my new astrology guidebook on reading your own natal chart :)

[majikkulu]

━━ ❝MASTERLIST❞

these are my personal observations and may not resonate with everyone. please take them with a grain of salt, as i'm not a professional astrologer! :))

asteroid pandora (55) in astrology shows where curiosity drives you to explore the unknown, often bringing surprises or unforeseen consequences. where pandora is in your chart hints at what fascinates you and may lead to exciting discoveries or unexpected challenges.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ᴀʀɪᴇꜱ / 1ꜱᴛ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

people with this placement feel a pull toward adventure and risk-taking. they’re often spontaneous and willing to try new things on impulse, especially when it comes to their personal style or appearance. they might experiment with bold looks or unique personas, which can make them seem unpredictable or hard to pin down. this energy can reveal hidden strengths and insecurities, shaping their sense of identity through trial and error.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ᴛᴀᴜʀᴜꜱ / 2ɴᴅ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

here, curiosity revolves around beauty, comfort, and security. people may explore various ways to build wealth or surround themselves with things that feel luxurious. this placement can lead to sudden changes in financial habits or unexpected temptations around materialism. they might question what truly matters to them, realizing that not all comforts

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ɢᴇᴍɪɴɪ / 3ʀᴅ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

this placement brings an endless thirst for knowledge, leading people to jump from one topic to another. they’re drawn to gossip and can surprise others with their communication style. their curiosity may bring a constant stream of news and fresh perspectives, but this can also create mental clutter, making it hard to focus deeply on one thing. they tend to explore new ideas and can be scattered, occasionally doing too much at once.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ᴄᴀɴᴄᴇʀ / 4ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

people with pandora here feel naturally drawn to explore their emotional life and family bonds. they may dig into family history, bringing hidden family secrets to light, which can either heal or complicate relationships. this placement makes them very empathic, so they may experience intense emotional encounters. their curiosity around home and family shapes their inner world, pushing them to redefine their roots and values.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ʟᴇᴏ / 5ʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

those with this placement have a strong desire to stand out and may attract both admiration and drama. they are often drawn to the spotlight, and this can bring sudden attention or criticism. they experiment with self-expression, often taking bold, creative risks. their curiosity might lead them into exciting or brief romantic experiences, seeking passion and adventure in love.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ᴠɪʀɢᴏ / 6ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

curiosity here centers around health, self-care, and daily routines. people may experiment with wellness practices, diets, or exercise routines. they are drawn to explore details and may develop a tendency to over-analyze, which can bring anxiety or frustration. they may encounter sudden shifts in their routines or at work, pushing them to adapt quickly and learn flexibility.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ʟɪʙʀᴀ / 7ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

this placement attracts people to unique or unconventional relationships. they may be fascinated by charming or mysterious partners and could experience shifting dynamics in relationships or partnerships. this curiosity reveals deeper truths about themselves and others, often challenging them to balance personal needs with those of their partners, which can bring growth in their approach to relationships.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ꜱᴄᴏʀᴘɪᴏ / 8ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

people here are drawn to deep mysteries and the unknown, often exploring taboo topics or intense emotional experiences. they feel a pull toward spirituality or the transformative aspects of life and are unafraid to confront their own fears. this curiosity pushes them to discover hidden parts of themselves and face their deepest fears, growing through profound personal evolution.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ꜱᴀɢɪᴛᴛᴀʀɪᴜꜱ / 9ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

with this placement, curiosity leads to a search for truth and a desire to explore different cultures and belief systems. they may frequently question their values or beliefs, leading to open-mindedness and growth. their curiosity about the world might spark an interest in travel or philosophy, helping them understand life on a broader scale.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ᴄᴀᴘʀɪᴄᴏʀɴ / 10ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

those with this placement experience curiosity around reputation and career, often feeling drawn to explore new roles or professional challenges. they may experiment with different career paths, sometimes drawn to roles with status or influence. this can lead to quick shifts in their public image, testing their patience and commitment in the face of public perception and authority.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ᴀQᴜᴀʀɪᴜꜱ / 11ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

here, people are drawn to unique social circles and unconventional ideas. they may find themselves exploring new social ideals and forming unexpected friendships. their curiosity pushes them to connect with people who think differently, often questioning where they truly fit in. this placement encourages them to embrace their authentic selves and find communities that resonate with their values.

ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ ɪɴ ᴘɪꜱᴄᴇꜱ / 12ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ

this placement draws people toward spirituality, mysticism, and the subconscious mind. they might explore dreams, fantasies, or other hidden aspects of their psyche. this curiosity can lead them to seek artistic inspiration or deep spiritual insights, often helping them confront suppressed emotions or illusions. pandora here invites them to balance their imagination with reality, exploring the mystical parts of life in a grounded way.

[cosmicpuzzle]

3rd Lord in Houses

3rd Lord in 1st House

You have a strong initiative and courage to explore new ventures. You create your life through you own effort. It is more likely than not that you have younger sisters or brothers that play an important part in your life. There may be some complications with your health.

3rd Lord in 2nd House

It might be hard for you to assert yourself, to take initiative or to display courage, particularly in the field of self-expression and accumulation of resources. The reasons for your actions might not be clear to others, because you tend to hide your motives. Consequently, there might be some disruption in family life and your relationship with your siblings might be rather weak.

3rd Lord in 3rd House

You are assertive, motivated, non-hesitant and you take the initiative in many successful endeavors. Dexterity and skillfulness in crafts and arts are like second nature to you. There is a good relationship between you and your siblings, and your children will prove to open new opportunities for you, in terms of financial resources.

3rd Lord in 4th House

Your style of asserting yourself might be at its best within the realm of your home, in connection with the people that are closest to you. Self-effort might be closely connected to your sense of inner comfort. Your effort will also prove to be fruitful. Your siblings might have their income connected to real estate or agriculture of some kind.

3rd Lord in 5th House

You are very creative, although you can be quite 'tricky' at times. There is a strong interest in craft or artistic activities, like music, dance or other fields requiring manual dexterity. You may actually choose to educate yourself in an artistic field, or some field that closely fits your self-motivating styles. Playfulness, creativity, moral values and intelligence are qualities that should fit your siblings.

3rd Lord in 6th House

You may feel like you are constantly running into obstacles when you try to take an initiative of some kind. This may be a source of a great irritation for you. On the other hand, by running into obstacles, you may develop great problem-solving skills. And you may develop a liking for challenges. Your siblings may be a source of some obstacles or unhappiness in your life although that may improve with time.

3rd Lord in 7th House

You are a passionate individual who goes after the objects of his/her desire. You are inclined to be the one who takes the initiative in your relationships, so your desires might be the dominating force. The area of close one-to-one interactions is where you access your sense of assertiveness and courage. There is a liking for adventures and experiencing new things in a foreign country. You might, however, find yourself in the service of the governing powers.

3rd Lord in 8th House

It might be hard for you to assert yourself in a clean-cut way, because you have a tendency to hide your motives, and do things undercover. Your efforts of choice might be an exploration or research of some kind, some times to uncover something previously unknown. You might, however, have to face some difficulties and obstacles in your endeavors. You might have experienced a loss of a sibling in your life, or there might simply be some loss of communication with your brothers or sisters.

3rd Lord in 9th House

You are definitely skillful in one of the arts or crafts, a talent possibly inherited from your father. There is also a good deal of self-effort and courage that characterizes your life. The prime area of initiative in your life would be the field of higher knowledge and learning and consequently journeys related to that. However, the relationship with your father might be complicated.

3rd Lord in 10th House

You are a self-made individual who puts a great effort into creating your career and reputation. You are easily motivated to promote your skills when called on. The career that you choose is likely to be connected to your manual dexterity, artistic talent or even courage. There is a possibility that you get tempted to use secret measures to enhance your status and career.

3rd Lord in 11th House

You always like to seek out new avenues of experience and gain. There is a chance that you may find that your desires will be fulfilled as you help and motivate others to fulfill theirs. Your sibling(s) may prove to be the source of guidance and higher knowledge for you.

3rd Lord in 12th House

Many of your initiatives will prove to be ineffective or futile. Some way or another the effect of your effort may get dissolved or diffused, and consequently you may end up with results that you didn't strive for. It could prove good for you to sacrifice your efforts for the good of the collective. There is a possibility of a hearing disorder, and your siblings might suffer or experience isolation.

For Readings DM

[crookshanksnumberonefan]

forgotten .

forgotten - chishiya shuntarō x reader. (one shots on wattpad; luvrzvoid)

PART ONE !

“ when the reader wakes up from the borderlands and back into the reality, they’ve forgotten truly who chishiya is while he has to deal with the consequences of your amnesia and the deep memories the two of you have that you’ve forgotten . ”

hashtags! :: #chishiya #chishiyashuntaro #aliceinborderland #angst #oneshot #wattpad #original #newauthor #chishiyaxreader

the lights are dim, as you slowly open your eyes to be greeted by the sunlight shining into the window of your room. you hear the sound of beeping next to you, looking up at the machine that was recording the way your heart was beating. you groan silently, trying to get adjusted to your backgrounds.. even if at that moment it seems a tad bit difficult.

of course, you feel suddenly this sharp pain as you try sitting up, in which you just give up after several seconds of trying to be strong but utterly failing as the pain took over your body. after slowly recovering, your eyes were finally wide open as you looked down at the scruffy and itchy clothing that appeared to be the hospital gown.

you raised an eyebrow almost immediately, confused on how you even seemed to be fit into these conditions that you could’ve sworn you were fine only moments ago.. which you couldn’t remember.

“Ah, you’re up.” the nurse who had gray hairs already, holding a tray of syringes with a warm smile and tone said, looking at you with a kind and sympathetic gaze.

you stare at her for several seconds, dumbfounded a bit but also looking down at the syringes she had laying on the tray. the nurse picked up at where you were staring at immediately, a reassuring smile replacing her kind one quickly.

“Oh, these aren’t for you so don’t worry. They’re for your temporary roommate of course. But.. the doctor will soon be here to treat you instead as your roommate has already been taken care of. This is just a last and extra step.” the nurse said reassuringly as she opened the curtain that separated your bed from the other.

in the bed laid a woman, around her early to mid twenties with chin-length hair. the woman was awake, doing a cross word puzzle surprisingly. you made a mental note to yourself to ask the lady where she had obtained a cross word puzzle from.

“Miss Usagi, you’re up! Good evening, dear. Unfortunately, the lab is requiring for all victims of the meteor strike to have a few more blood samples taken before we can discharge you in.. three days from now. Is that alright?” the nurse said politely, smiling as Usagi nodded.

“..I guess.” Usagi murmured, as the nurse walked over, holding her arm ready as she found her strong vein and slowly injected the syringe on her forearm.

you watched with mild interest, tilting your head slightly before sighing as you finally sat up, ignoring the pain that laced your lower stomach. you peeked through underneath your hospital gown, seeing the amount of stitches and bandages all over your body including on your.. stomach?

you shuddered slightly as the nurse had already taken out the blood needed from usagi. the nurse turned her head over to you, as she walked over to where you were. she pulled out a thermometer, taking your temperature to make sure you were feeling good and not icky.

“..hm, a 96.4. You’re in the green zone!” the nurse said as she disposed of it for health and safety reasons. the nurse soon left the room, leaving with the tray as the curtain between you and usagi was wide open.

usagi was the one to be staring at you with surprise, a look of recognition glistening in her eyes as she stared at you confused and a bit worried.

“..(name). are you feeling alright?” she asked you slowly. “..we thought we all had lost you. with the amount of blood you lost and the way chishiya was so sure that you were almost gone—” she began saying as tears flooded her eyes before looking down.

you stared at her with skepticism, unknown as how she knew your name. in fact, the way her eyes were looking at towards you made you even more confused. the way she made a comment of how concerned she was towards you made you feel.. even more dumbfounded. did she know of your condition? she was just another patient that coincidentally was paired up with you, that’s all.. right?

“..sorry, uh..” you began saying in a raspy tone, having just starting to speak again after a few hours. you tried remembering her name, trying to recognize her from somewhere.. but failed “..random girl. i don’t think i know you, but do you have any idea what we’re doing here for? so far the nurse has given me zero background knowledge in regards of this situation.”

usagi paused, staring at you with no readable look in her eyes as she sighed.

“oh, well..” she said as she gave a sad smile towards you. she seemed she was hesitant to tell you the truth, as if the words were at the top of her tongue but she couldn’t just seem to tell you them before she finally spoke. “-from what i’ve heard from the fellow doctors is that we were in a meteor strike and only a few of us survived.”

you raised an eyebrow. a meteor strike? that seemed very strange and very much unrealistic.. this isn’t a movie for goodness sake. however, you just took her word for it as you nodded slowly, a small hum coming from you. usagi stared at you still, with a mixture of despair, melancholy, and somewhat frustration.

“well then, thank you i guess for telling me whatever the hell we went through.” you said as you decided to put your feet onto the ground, slipping them into some hospital slippers that felt soft but also with poor quality. “but i’m gonna get a snack. if you’d like, you could come with me?” you told the woman as she shook her head simply.

“No thanks. maybe later though, since i’m not too hungry right now.”

“Suit yourself I guess.” you as you simply shrugged, slowly walking as to not cause anymore pain. you held onto the door handle, walking out into the hallway of the hospital.

to put it in simple words, it was very crowded. doctors were rushing, and you saw paramedics sprinting around with gurneys that had very injured people on them. you saw a face that you thought you could familiarize yourself with, as it was a man with blond dyed hair wearing a hawaiian themed shirt. nurses were pushing other patients around in wheelchairs or were trying to calm down the other visitors who were waiting to see their relatives in the hospital.

you finally made your way over to a vending machine, humming as you skimmed through the contents of it.

“are you going to settle for chocolate milk duds?” a man asked behind you, making you startled as you held up your fist quickly as if it were a reflex. you dropped your fist, though your gaze was still guarded as you looked the man up and down. the man was still looking at you, a look of familiarity, warmth.. yet also a tad bit of a coldish look in his eyes.

“..maybe, maybe not.” you responded in a dry and sarcastic tone.

the man let out an amused dry chuckle, as you rolled your eyes at him, returning your gaze to the vending machine to find another snack that wasn’t going to be chocolate milk duds because that in fact was what you were going to order.

the man’s once amused smirk was gone, as he was confused by your actions. his streaks of platinum blond-hair were falling out of a low ponytail, watching you simply try and shake the vending machine because you hadn’t brought money.

the man sighed, as you were getting frustrated. he rummaged through the pocket’s of his hospital robe, taking out two quarters as he inserted them into the machine. he surprisingly had gotten you the milk duds, handing over the box to you.

“no offense sir, but that was stupid of you to purchase a stranger some sweets.” you said confused, opening the box of milk dud’s, eating a handful.

“..is that your way of saying thank you to me?” the man said amused, a small scoff leaving his mouth.

you couldn’t respond as your mouth was filled with the savory taste of sweets, so the man sighed in slight annoyance. you thought he was stupidly kind, but also noticed how he seemed so nonchalant and aloof. you also wondered what the hell his name was, to which he seemed to have read your mind somehow as he spoke.

“i’m chishiya.” he said simply.

“…that’s a nice name. has a nice ring to it.” you told him, and for a split second his eyes had melted when you told him that before returning to his cold and somewhat warm look. “..i’m (name).” you said gently. chishiya nodded at you, as he looked around before his smirk came again.

“well, (name), i’ll see you again soon.”

“how do you know that for sure?”

“I have my ways of making things happen.”

you blinked as he said those few words, walking off as he left you standing alone, continuing to eat the milk dud’s he had purchased for you.

little did you know, it had pained him to see you again, especially because it had seemed you had forgotten him. it made sense though, he had asked the doctor who was assigned to him if others had a recollection of their memories, to which he responded majority did but only a small percentage had also forgotten it, making it a temporary amnesia. and you were apart of that percentage of people with temporary amnesia.

and he was going to make you remember those moments again, in his own subtle and somewhat clever ways because he wouldn’t be forgotten.

not by you.

[seirindono]

TMS - Author's note (Arc 1)

Today I'm stepping up to talk about TMS for a while. It's going to be a lot of blah blah, no TLDR, so hang in there or save it for later if you're brave enough, haha (¯▿¯)

So, another chapter of TMS draws to a close, with the difference that this time it's a whole saga that's coming to an end! That's a big relief for me, given that we recently celebrated the comic's 4th anniversary! That's almost the entire duration of my college life, and that's both an impressive and terrifying achievement lol.

The comic is divided into 3 arcs, each separated by an interlude. The first runs from part 1 to 8, with 201 pages total (wow!). In it, you are introduced to Mel, a young skeleton with a rather unclear past, who accidentally arrives in a a foreign timeline, along with other well known skeletons. Nowadays it's just an isekai haha. Throughout the arc, she proves to be a cautious Monster, quiet and somewhat withdrawn compared to the other skeletons we come across, notably Rus, Blue and Axe, who each got their own sequences.

Still, Mel in the last few scenes is starting to show more initiative, and the interlude will make this even more obvious, but we can expect her to open up a lot more during the next Arc, about her past, motives, goals and thoughts.

I could go on at length about what's in store for us in the interlude, but given that it's due for release sometime in 2024, I'm going to talk about the general story line instead. Although we follow Mel who is foreign to what's going on in this universe prior to her arrival, the other characters and events suggest that strange phenomena are taking place in Ebott, leading many people to become embroiled in a highly unusual affair. Crossing timelines, earthquakes, mysterious apparitions in the forest, something is afoot and the situation seems to be at a turning point when Mellow gets here.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with the situation and what to do next. Some are serious and pragmatic, like Black, others optimistic, like Blue, and others, like Papyrus, find themselves completely backed into a corner, forced to do their best to fix whatever needs to be.

A special case, however, is Axe, whom Mel meets in the forest as she investigates Mt. Ebott. The two have diametrically opposed views of their current condition. One wants to return to her world by any means necessary, regardless of the advantages of a peaceful world. The other, not so much. Both refuse to talk about their past and ignore the other's circumstances, but a sense of familiarity drives them to try to convince the other to stay or go. These are two stark positions to reconcile, and while we can expect Blue and the other skeletons to have their own views on the subject too, Mel and Axe are strangely "committed" in this interraction and resort to violence, spurred on by a unknown substance that causes Axe to momentarily lose control.

Mel is wounded, Axe unconscious, and the status quo disrupted. Other consequences follow this confrontation, and several questions are raised: Can Blue really help Mel when Axe accuses him of having already given up on going home himself? What is this mysterious entity Axe came across a few days earlier? The vibrations? What was that substance that made him go berserk? And what made him stop? Can we trust Mel and what she tells us? And many others.

Because as I'm sure many of you have come to realize, Mel has proven to be a rather unreliable narrator (or at least character since you don't follow her actual POV). Blatantly lying or omitting facts to others and readers alike, it's hard to know her next move and whether she's genuinely forgotten important infos (for it's well established at this stage that she has hazy memories and that they continue to deteriorate. The same applies to her health).

In the same way, each part of TMS so far has raised more questions than it has answered, but I can confidently say that the road is paved for Arc 2 to answer and put in perspective most of them, ahah.

Ah, this is also the moment when I can announce that ALL skeletons will be featured in the Interlude. Should be. Hopefully.

I'd also like to point out a few narrative changes for Act 2! The central characters, in particular. Original cast characters such as Undyne, Metatton and a veiled character will be more formally introduced, but we'll also meet up with characters we've already bumped into, but in a much more concrete way, such as Frisk and Alphys. I can't wait for you to get to know them! You can also expect more pov changes, more elipses and so on. Things are moving fast.

But that begs the question. When is it due? As said before, the first Arc lasted 4 years and I'm entering my last (and most crucial) year of college. I still don't know if I'll have time to get much of it done in 2025, but on the other hand, I'd like to strike while the iron's hot lest TMS be discontinued after a 1-year hiatus and my entry into the working world. Student loan, life and all. There are still plenty of things I'd like to bring to this project, and I now have the skills to actually carry them out, but on the other hand, the time involved has also increased exponentially.

Tbh with you, as an animation student, it's been one of my dreams since 2020 to do one of TMS's sequences in animatic or full anim, or even a trailer for the comic! But as a solo team, it's just unreasonable and I know it. But the parasite ----. Don't get me wrong, I could, but it would take me months and it's just not realistic when 80% of my time has to go into professionnal work that goes into my portefolio or adult stuff. I can't affort to invest time in solo-ing it or to recruit and lead a team over one side project of mine ( ´ ▿ ` ) So we'll most likely stick to classic pages.

But the same goes for collabs, community events, side stories, asks, edits, dubs, testing other platforms, regular animatics. Love all of that. Really. But I never have the time to because, man, I'd love to actually finish TMS someday ahah. It all comes back to the age-old problem of “lots of ideas, little time”, and it's so frustrating but, it's a choice I have to stick to, so bear with me as I vent my frustration. Just for tonight (´ ∀ `, *)

So, yes. Act 2. Next year? Probably? It's a long interlude, so you'll get smth in the meantime, but it's likely to decide the future of TMS and whether Act 2 sees the light of day as I imagine it or if...well, something else replaces it.

bringing back this doodle cuz it seems fiting lol

Anyway, I also wanted to thank you for your engagement with Part 8!

I don't know how other comic artists experience it, but for me it's a very isolated work, and as much as I love working alone, I enjoy the interaction with readers most of all.

Seeing people losing their mind over a serious scene, or chuckling at a dumb gag, or just simping over the characters and art. It's just great, and very rewarding. Likewise, I have a blast answering questions about the TMS universe, reading tags and receiving memes, witnessing people go increasingly mad with messages full of indecipherable screams and hearts. Makes me giggle and kick my feet everytime and I can't wait to drop the next lore bomb or funny scene bwahahah

And while we're on the subject, I'd like to say a special word of thanks to the legions of rebloggers who make it their business to spread the word about TMS. You sweet, lovely, candy scented folks. And to my dear mutuals - with whom I interact objectively so little - who have no idea how a single message or note from them drives me bonkers. Thanks for dropping by. And of course to my super Patreons who support me despite the sparse updates, but to whom I'm more than grateful. Love you all.

Sounds like a farewell message. It's not lol. Just making sure they get the love they deserve.

The post is getting long and I'm kind of done pretending I know how to write organized notes so to wrap things up, here's an exhaustive list of what I'd like to get done this year and/or discuss in more detail another day. •Make a new masterpost (for Act 2) •Analyze/Comment certain sequences from Act 1 to clarify or give context •Redraw and rewrite part 1 and 2 •Make more bonus content again *ahahahahahaha*

•Re open or close the Discord (partially abandoned and it's all on me, but I'm still mulling it over).

•Finish the Interlude and enjoy and nice hiatus

And that's about it? Congratulation for reading this and making it this far! You were there!

Be well, and see you next time.

Seirin-

First part | Prev | Next (INTERLUDE)

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[symphonyofsilence]

Daily reminder that when the Cloud Recesses got attacked, and LXC went on the run and JGY saved him and helped him hide, the Wens were in full power. They were the undisputed ruling clan. So much so that they could demand the other sects to send their heirs to them as hostages, and nearly kill the said heirs, fearing no consequences. And no sect had decided to try anything against them yet. They didn't think that ALL THE OTHER SECTS TOGETHER could do anything against the Wens. (And they truly couldn't if it weren't for Meng Yao.)

A little insignificant outcast like Meng Yao was FUCKED if he was caught hiding away THE Zewu-Jun.

And yet he did it! He didn't like...drag LXC to a doctor and said "I found this mysterious wounded man with an unknown identity. He's your problem now. Ciao. :)" No! He fully took care of him and hid him away and helped him rebuild the Cloud Recesses! (And listen, the Xiyao agenda of the show when Meng Yao specifically thinks of "Zewu-Jun" when he hears about the fall of the cloud recesses while he himself is bleeding on the ground and goes to save LXC after his banishment is very beautiful, especially for LXC. Imagine seeing this cute guy that you developed a crush on with one look and a total of 5 minutes of interaction before the guy left. And then suddenly in your worst & most desperate situation, the guy suddenly appears like an angel like you've manifested him and saves you and nurses you back to health and takes your hand in rebuilding your sect every step of the way. BUT! Book!Meng Yao didn't even know LXC! There has never been a tender hand touch and LXC gracefully saving him from an awkward and cruel social situation! He just saw a man and saved him out of the kindness of his heart regardless of the risks for himself!)

And LXC wasn't even the only person he saved individually. He saved Qin Su, too. if he's saved these two individually who knows if he had saved more people. Daily reminder that JGY is the kind of person who will go out of his way to help people when he can.

[theresattrpgforthat]

I'm looking for TTRPGs that have... for lack of a better way of putting it, mechanics where like, your character is under a profound amount of stress, and if they don't manage it and additional stress that comes in, they'll break or snap and do something horrible and then have to deal with the consequences. So something that mechanically 'forces' your character to do something they'd normally never do due to external stressors.

THEME: Stress Clocks.

Oh this is my shit. Get ready for a Hall of Fame style of recommendations from me this week (as well as a bit of self-advertising)!

Also a note: this was (mostly) a chance for me to get very excited about a number of games that have specifically inspired me, and I am aware that it means that I’ve kind of neglected certain houses of design as a result. For this post especially, I encourage anyone who can think of a game that fits this request that isn’t listed here to give it a shout out in the reblog and the replies!

Mothership, by Tuesday Knight Games.

Mothership is a sci-fi horror roleplaying game where you and your crew try to survive in the most inhospitable environment in the universe: outer space! You'll excavate dangerous derelict spacecraft, explore strange unknown worlds, exterminate hostile alien life, and examine the horrors that encroach upon your every move.

Mothership inflicts Stress upon you with every failure, and hitting your Stress cap reduces your most relevant Stat or Save, thereby consistency reducing your chances of success with every roll. That’s not all though - your Stress cap also makes it harder and harder to stop your character from panicking, by representing the threshold you must beat every time you make a Panic Check. If you roll less than or equal to your current Stress rating, you must take on a new Panic condition.

You make Panic checks whenever you roll a critical failure, but also whenever you witness something traumatic. These conditions don’t necessarily force your character to do anything, but they represent the toll that being in a constantly hostile environment takes on your mind and body. You have to work harder and harder to prevent your character from attacking allies, giving in to the demands of whatever is haunting their psyche, or going straight-up catatonic.

You can also try to mitigate this stress and panic by resting and doing something that helps relieve the pressure - having sex, taking drugs, praying, etc. There’s even a Shore Leave mechanic for long-term games that allow your character to turn their stress into a character improvement.

In some respect, these conditions remind me of the Morality and Clarity tracks of Chronicles of Darkness and Changeling: the Lost, but with less of the errant language around mental health. The dice rolls also make the consequences much less predictable, so if you want to be surprised by what exactly causes your character to snap, I recommend Mothership.

Urban Shadows, by Magpie Games.

The streets bleed shadows as the supernatural politics of the city threaten to swallow you whole. Will you die a hero—a savior for those who have never had enough—or live long enough to become the villain? Will you fight the darkness…or give in for power?

The choice is yours. 

Urban Shadows is an urban fantasy tabletop roleplaying game in which mortals and monsters vie for control of a modern-day city, a political battleground layered just under the reality we think we know. Vampires, faeries, hunters, and wizards fight to carve out a piece of the streets and skyscrapers, ready to make deals with all those who have something to offer. 

The ‘consequences’ track for Urban Shadows is called Corruption. Each character playbook in this game has a couple of special moves called Corruption Moves, and when you start playing, you start with two Drama Moves the tie into this. The Drama Moves describe specific situations in which your character must mark Corruption. If you fill your Corruption track, you take a Corruption Move. Corruption moves give you special powers that are super-effective, but fill up your Corruption track faster. You can only fill your Corruption track so many times - fill it one too many and your character must be retired, because they’ve just become an antagonist.

I really like how this feels like a slow descent that speeds up the more you lean into it. Your character is consistently tempted to give into their darker sides in order to keep themselves afloat in this unforgiving city - but lean too far and they become exactly the kind of person they were hoping to stop.

Antiquarian Adventures, by acegiak.

Antiquarian Adventures is a pulpy tomb raiding and treasure hunting Blades In The Dark hack in the style of Tomb Raider, Indiana Jones, National Treasure, and The Mummy.

So Antiquarian Adventures is a pulp game. It’s not grim dark in any sense of the word, but I think it introduces a unique use of the Blades’ Stress mechanic in a special “ability” that happens when your character uses up all of their Composure (this is the “Stress” of this gam). Once you’ve used up all of your Composure, you cannot resist anything that comes your way and your dice pools are reduce to 0 until you do something (specific to your playbook) that usually invites a new consequence.

For example, The Veteran’s version of this is called “Not As Quick As I Used To Be,” which hamstrings the character until the player allows themself to be left behind or separated from their comrades. This kind of mechanic has directly inspired one of the projects that I’m working on, and I think that if you tweak the amount of Composure your character has, or makes the reaction harsher, you could absolutely make it work for a game that’s a bit grittier than Antiquarian Adventures.

Last Fleet, by Black Armada Games

The last of humanity are fleeing across space, pursued by the implacable inhuman adversary that destroyed their civilisation. They're outnumbered and outgunned. Supplies are running low. The actions of a brave few could be all that stands between humanity and extinction.

Welcome to the Last Fleet.

Last Fleet is a PBTA tabletop roleplaying game where you play brave pilots, officers, engineers, politicians and journalists struggling to hold the human race - and themselves - together under unbelievable pressure. The game focuses on action, intrigue and drama in this high-stakes situation. You'll fight space battles, search for enemy infiltrators, tackle supply shortages and navigate faction politics. You'll strive against your own self-doubt and sometimes crack under the stress.

Last Fleet has something called a Pressure Mechanic, which can be used as a player resource, but also activates when you take weather harm or get called out on your shit. Hit your cap? Clear your Pressure and take a Breaking Point action, which often puts you at odds with the other characters, making the situation worse. The whole situation is a designed to act as a pressure cooker, making the situation harder and harder to bear until you finally pop. I love it, and it’s also a direct influence on one of my games.

Apocalypse Keys, by Rae Nedjadi (@temporalhiccup)

Unmask your feelings, uncage your ruination… The Doomsday Clock is ticking down and emotions run high as you and your team of DIVISION agents struggle to find the Keys before the villainous Harbingers unlock the Doors of Power and bring about the apocalypse.

As an Omen class monster, you are the only thing capable of holding back the apocalypse. Combat occult threats and investigate supernatural phenomena alongside your team of supernatural agents working for the shadowy DIVISION. But in a world that shuns monsters like you, only your deepest, most heartfelt bonds can grant you the power to stop those who seek to unlock Doom’s Door.

Taking cues from Urban Shadows, Apocalypse Keys gives you a Ruin track to follow as your monsters try to stop the world from ending. The Ruin track gives you a Ruin advance every time you fill it, unlocking Ruin Moves, permanently marking character conditions, and eventually forcing your character to turn into a Harbinger if you let it. Your Ruin moves are powerful and dark, generating even more Ruin when you use them, and in some cases (like with the Hungry’s "Only Hunger Remains" move), your character can actually halt the current mystery as they get close enough to becoming a Harbinger that the entire party will have to work together to stop you from ripping the world apart.

Protect the Child, by Mint-Rabbit (that’s me!).

Humans have always been protective of their young, sometimes overly so. Humans have also always feared that which might make their young strange or different, and so insist that only humans can raise their own young. Monsters cannot raise human young. This is known.

You have a human baby. You cannot find its parents. What is even worse, is that this child has powers, powers that others covet, and so everyone wants it. If you want to prove that you’re not the heartless monster that everyone says you are, that means you’ll have to raise it, at least until you find someone who is better suited to it than you. 

You are creatures of fur, scales and fangs. You have claws that can rend flesh, faces that can crack mirrors, howls that can cause ears to bleed. 

And your charge wants a blankie.

Protect the Child is a Forged in the Dark game about monsters caring for a young human, a human who contains strange and mystical powers that make them a valuable asset in any monster crew. The setting and factions present in this game are flexible: you might be aliens in a far-flung future galaxy, fantasy monsters from rival kingdoms, or even everyday wild animals that fear human society. 

Alright, so this is my baby and I can tell you exactly how to push your character towards some really unhealthy coping mechanisms. In Protect the Child, your character is constantly battling the stress of being a parent. Stress, like in other Forged in the Dark games, is a player resource, but it’s also inflicted on you when you resist consequences, and when the kid has an emotional breakdown.

Should your stress clock fill up, you’ll have to take a reaction from the list attached to your playbook before you can take more Stress, and these reactions range from doing something for selfish gains to lashing out to your fellow monsters to being fully monstrous at exactly the worst time. Your tools to manage this stress are also limited - you have to be willing to confront your fellow monsters and be honest about your relationships with each-other if you want to stop your emotional kettle from whistling all of the time. If you want a game where building relationships is the only way to deal with the pressures of monster-parenting, then check out Protect the Child!

[astrodescent]

saturn through the signs / houses and the karma you receive

in astrology, saturn represents discipline, responsibility, and the limitations we encounter. it correlates to the karmic principle as it reflects the consequences, challenges, and lessons stemming from past actions and choices, urging us to confront and learn from our responsibilities and limitations to evolve spiritually and personally.

aries / 1H: struggles with identity or asserting individuality, lessons in self reliance, struggles with impulsivity and leadership, balance need for action and planning

taurus / 2H: financial security or stability, material possessions being restricted, learning patience and stability, struggles with self worth

gemini / 3H: challenges with communication or expressing thoughts, learning to focus, scattered thinking, problems at school or with neighbours

cancer / 4H: karmic family ties, lessons in providing or not receiving enough emotional support, insecurities, ancestral patterns

leo / 5H: creative limitations, learning responsible risk taking, self expression not being seen as authentic, overcoming fears of being seen

virgo / 6H: self discipline, health problems, being too restricted by the attention to details, need for perfectionism, anxiety

libra / 7H: tests within relationships, too much codependency, finding fairness, patience in collaboration, relationships not being in sync

scorpio / 8H: isolation of self, deep emotional trauma, loosing something (death), massive need for control, addressing fears of the unknown

sagittarius / 9H: beliefs or knowledge being tested, balancing idealism and practical truth, higher education disruption, not being able to be as independent as one would like

capricorn / 10H: lessons within career and public image, seeking approval of others, reputation being targeted, ambition being challenged

aquarius / 11H: friendships or community loses track, patience within social interactions, rebellion of the norm, establishing boundaries in networking

pisces / 12H: delusions or escapism, confronting fears and subconscious issues, boundaries in emotional matters, feeling the feelings of others as one’s own

© spirit-of-phantom 2023

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Christina Buttons

Published: Apr 4, 2024

[ Figure 2: Representative images of Hematoxylin and Eosin-stained sections of testicular tissue biopsied from the testis from GD patients (A) with and (B) without PB exposure. ]

In a groundbreaking study from the Mayo Clinic, a globally recognized leader in medical research and patient care, researchers examined the effects of puberty blockers on testicular development in gender dysphoric male children. Their investigation revealed evidence of mild to severe atrophy in the sex glands of these children, leading the authors to express doubt in the claims of “reversibility” often made about puberty blockers.

The authors assert, “We provide unprecedented histological evidence revealing detrimental pediatric testicular sex gland responses to [puberty blockers].”

This preprint study, not yet peer-reviewed, presents evidence that puberty blockers induce significant cellular changes, impacting testicular development and sperm production in ways that are not fully reversible, with potentially permanent effects on testicular function and fertility. It challenges the longstanding view of puberty blockers as a reversible "pause button" on puberty.

As noted by the researchers of this study, no long-term studies exist for the use of puberty blockers in the context of stopping puberty for gender dysphoric children, and many potential health consequences remain unknown. In particular, the long-term impact on reproductive health is uncertain, making this study critical for filling this knowledge gap.

To address these unknowns, the Mayo Clinic has established the largest collection of testicular samples for patients aged 0-17 years, including those with gender dysphoria who have and have not yet received puberty blocker treatment, creating a database of over 130,000 individual cells for analysis.

Using a novel approach, the research team meticulously analyzed testicular tissue samples from youths undergoing puberty blocker treatment, with those not on puberty blocker treatment serving as controls. This comparison provides important insights into the potential cellular and molecular changes induced by these drugs.

Key Findings

The study utilized the Mayo Clinic's Pediatric Testicular Biobank for Fertility Preservation, which has been recruiting patients primarily from pediatric urology departments since 2015. Researchers analyzed testicular specimens from 87 young individuals (ages 0-17) undergoing fertility preservation surgery for various health reasons. Among these, 16 were gender dysphoric boys between the ages of 10 and 16, all of whom began identifying as transgender girls between the ages of 2 and 15. At the time of surgery, 9 patients (56%) were already on puberty blockers, with exposure ranging from 3 to 52 months. The authors noted that 100% of the 16 children would eventually go on to take them, highlighting “the widespread nature of PB intervention in this demographic.”

Among nine patients treated with puberty blockers, two exhibited unusual features in their testicles upon physical examination. One patient had abnormalities in both testicles, including incomplete development of the tunica albuginea, which is a protective covering around the testicles. The other patient had a right testicle that was difficult to detect.

In one part of the tissue-level analysis, over 400 testicular biopsy samples were analyzed and stained to examine the differences between those treated with puberty blockers and those who were not. Comparisons showed that testicular development in those treated with puberty blockers was abnormal compared to non-treated individuals. There was variability in how individuals responded to puberty blockers, leading to different outcomes in testicular development, including the degeneration of testicular tissues.

The study authors presented a case of a 12-year-old patient who underwent treatment with puberty blockers for 14 months. In this individual, 59% of the sex glands showed complete atrophy, along with the presence of microlithiasis—a condition where small clusters of calcium form in the testicles. This insight suggests that puberty blockers could lead to lasting structural changes. Additionally, research has shown a link between testicular microlithiasis and testicular cancer.

[ D) Representative images of normal (top) and fully atrophied sex gland (bottom). ]

This study also utilized single-cell analysis to investigate the effects of puberty blockers and aging on testicular cell composition. It took a very detailed look at individual cells from the testicles of a 14-year-old who had been on puberty blockers for over 4 years. The study analyzed a total of 130,100 cells, including 11,199 cells from the juvenile puberty blocker-treated patient.

The study observed that over 90% of the cells responsible for sperm production in this patient were stunted at an early developmental stage, unable to progress further. Additionally, it found "pathologically" higher and lower levels of two types of support cells (Sertoli cells) necessary for healthy sperm development. These findings suggest that puberty blockers can disrupt the normal maturation process of cells critical for sperm production.

In another part of the analysis, the authors found distinct cell-specific changes, including altered expression patterns of puberty-associated genes in endothelial cells, due to puberty blocker treatment. The authors believe that these drugs might induce juvenile testicular atrophy in part by disrupting the normal function of testicular endothelial cells.

Another aspect of the study focused on examining the effects of puberty blockers on the genetic activity of early-stage sperm cells, revealing significant changes that could potentially influence their development and fertility. By analyzing the activity of specific genes within these cells, the researchers found that puberty blockers may have caused alterations in gene expression, affecting processes crucial for the normal growth and function of these cells. This analysis suggests that the use of puberty blockers in gender dysphoric youth could have lasting implications for their reproductive health, particularly by impacting the ability of these early-stage sperm cells to mature properly.

Study Impact

Puberty blockers are increasingly used as a treatment for gender dysphoric youth to halt the development of secondary sex characteristics, such as breast development and widening of hips in females, or the growth of facial hair and deepening of the voice in males. Thousands of children in the United States are placed on this medical pathway as part of the gender-affirming model of care, under the presumption that these drugs are safe and fully reversible.

However, many aspects of the long-term consequences of puberty blockers, which have been administered to children off-label in an experimental manner, remain unknown. This study contributes valuable insights into the potential irreversible harm these treatments can cause to bodily and reproductive functions. 

Arguably, the most critical finding is the evidence of mild to severe sex gland atrophy in children treated with puberty blockers. This atrophy signifies potential damage or impairment to the structures essential for sperm production, raising serious concerns about the long-term fertility impacts of these drugs for these individuals. 

Given the Mayo Clinic's esteemed reputation in the medical and research communities, should the study pass peer review without any issues, its findings will carry significant weight.

Broader Implications

Puberty blockers belong to a group of synthetic gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) analogues. These drugs act on the pituitary gland to hinder the release of chemical signals that typically trigger the production of estrogen and testosterone. Historically GnRH analogues were used to treat conditions such as prostate cancer, fibroids, and endometriosis and, in some cases, as a measure to chemically castrate sex offenders.

In children, puberty blockers prevent the natural changes of puberty driven by sex hormones and have been used to treat central precocious puberty, a condition where a child begins to sexually mature much earlier than usual. In gender dysphoria, puberty blockers are administered experimentally, lacking long-term testing.

Notably, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved puberty blockers and sex hormones for use in pediatric gender care. No clinical trials have substantiated the safety of these drugs for such non-approved applications and manufacturers of puberty blockers have repeatedly declined to conduct safety trials for their use on this cohort.

While puberty-blocking drugs are often promoted as “safe,” "reversible" and a "pause button" on puberty, these characterizations seem to stem from their approved use for treating central precocious puberty in younger children, not their burgeoning off-label use for managing gender dysphoria in adolescents. 

Past studies have indicated possible negative effects on bone density and brain health. There is also a concern that these drugs might solidify gender dysphoria in adolescents, potentially leading them down a lifelong road of biomedical interventions. Following reports in 2016 of suicidal ideation in children administered puberty blockers, the FDA instructed drug manufacturers to include a warning about potential psychiatric issues on the drugs' labels.

Puberty blockers are increasingly administered to adolescents at Tanner Stage 2, the first signs of puberty. Research shows administering puberty blockers at this stage, followed by cross-sex hormones, may result in infertility, sterility, and sexual dysfunction. Furthermore, they inhibit the development of mature male genitalia, making it difficult to create a pseudovagina in the event of a later vaginoplasty due to a lack of sufficient tissue.

The National Health Service England recently announced it would no longer prescribe puberty blockers to youth outside of research settings and closed down its only national clinical service for pediatric gender medicine, following a review that deemed the service "not safe.”

Several European countries, including Sweden, Finland, the UK, Denmark, and Norway have updated their guidelines for youth transition to align with systematic evidence reviews, the gold standard in evidence-based medicine. These reviews concluded that the risks associated with youth transition outweigh any purported benefits. Consequently, these countries have implemented restrictions on medical interventions, prioritizing psychotherapy as a first-line response for minors experiencing gender-related distress.

==

They're sterilizing boys and giving them cancer. When "god" does it, we call him evil. When humans do it, we call it "gender affirming care."

[ascendingaeons]

Hymn to Sekhmet

by Joey Rivers (ascendingaeons)

O Sekhmet, Great Eye of Ra, the First and the Last Healer and Destroyer, Mother and Daughter You Who accepted the Command of Ra, Your Father To cleanse the Two Lands of Isfet But Your nature was too mighty, Great of Strength as You Are Wanton and unrestrained, You ravaged Earth as a purifying flame And as Ra looked on and saw His Eye, He was stricken with pause By the Will of the Sun, Your Rage was quieted by a crimson brew And into transformative slumber You fell, Great Goddess And from Your great Rage, Het-Heru rose A new Eye was christened, of eros sublime And you, Great Mother, knew the sadness of regret

You, Great Goddess, know the measure of rage unbound And so You Stand, Great Mother of War, in defense and duty Of the Principles and Consequences of Ma’at Your Children are many, Great Lady of Life Diverse in their multitudes, empowered by their tribulation

Yours is the soldier, Your Mighty Sekhem made flesh and bone Entrenched in a maelstrom of fire and blood Returning home to a nation that does not understand him

Yours is the survivor, a living branch of Your burning Will triumphant Endeavoring to rise above the quagmire of loss and agony Through You their struggle is transmuted into the golden light of ka ascendant

Yours is the mother, she who knows sacrifice and sleepless nights A font unyielding of love and pride, of smiles and laughter perfected They who bear the weight of the world so a child can know childhood

Yours is the healer, an alchemist of the ontological persuasion He who is humbled by the frailty beholden to human experience He who ushers Your Sekhem through the riptide of transformative loss

Yours is the artist, through whose passions course Your Divine Fire Who walks the scales of inspiration and madness, knowing Creation unfiltered An alchemist versed in the milieus of perception

For You, Great Goddess, are the very Force of Change You are that which makes men tremble so Such an unnecessary fear, of wisdom and experience untouched Were I You, I would feel such sadness But how You smile, Great One! How You laugh! How You fight! You are not “she who cowers before Apep!” NO! You are the Great Lioness Who rends Chaos asunder! You fight and rage and bite and tear Passion and emotion alive and unrestrained!

You are Love, Great Goddess You are Fear, Great Goddess You are Devotion, Great Goddess You are Loss, Great Goddess You are Health, Great Goddess You are Sickness, Great Goddess This is why I call You the Mother of Life Your Ka is the very essence of experience! Your Sekhem is the very wind of change!

When I first called upon You, timid and unsure, I beheld Your Gaze, a window of fire open before my face And as quickly as You Saw me, You left And again when I called to You with offering of water and bread Exhausted by grief and devotion, tirelessly sung from a caregiver’s heart You came to me and my eyes were opened to You! As I lay without sleep, You stood at my bedside Stroking my back with strong hands of fire Whispering strength and courage into my ear As a sentinel You walked with me, a Mother Lioness guarding Her cub Such loyalty and tenderness You showed And my eyes were forever opened to Your nature

You are the very Force of Creation, the Monad of Being From which stems those primordial principalities Love and Fear, Physis and Logos, Known and Unknown Order and Disorder, Life and Death, Dynamism and Stasis

I offer henu to You, Great Goddess of Creation The endless potentiality and movement of the living cosmos The Fires Divine that Become living sinews and living earth

I offer henu to Your Husband Ptah, the Cosmic Smith Patron of artisans, of those who tirelessly toil In the pursuit of Bringing Into Being but a shard of the Sacred Unmanifest

I offer henu to Your Son, the Beautiful Nefertem The Ageless Lotus that rose from the Benben Stone The First Splendid Light to Shine in the churning Waters of Nun

It was You Who held my right hand as I accepted the mark of a healer And embraced me as a Mother would Her graduating son I offer You my pain, Great Goddess So that You may transmute it into Strength I offer You my fear, Great Goddess So that You may transmute it into Courage I offer You my uncertainty, Great Goddess So that You may transmute it into Wisdom

Into Your Belly I give of myself to unleash my greatest potential To burst from Your Bosom, shining and emboldened For there is nothing that is beyond Your Reach, Great Mother It is for me, now, to See that nothing is beyond my own

Dua Sekhmet! Dua Sekhmet! Dua Sekhmet!

[johnwickb1tsch]

The Girl Next Door - IX

A Constantine x FemVampire!Reader (feat John Wick!) fic based on this imagine. all chapters warnings: nsfw, blood, biting, violence divider by animatedglittergraphics gif from pinterest, wick art from pinterest, prtty sure its AI, OPs unknown lemme kno

9. and be saved

You are left starstruck and gaping, slack-jawed and weak-kneed, when Constantine finally pulls back from the absolute claiming of your mouth, his dark gaze boring into you like he either wants to fuck you, or strangle you. 

Maybe both, considering. 

“After all this, that’s what you think?” he snarls. 

A low growl reminds you both of the danger not far enough away. “And why wouldn’t she, after the way you’ve treated her, you stupid boy?” snarls Wick, his accent thickening in his anger. “Stop touching her.”

You jab a finger in the dhampir’s direction, putting yourself between them again. “This doesn’t mean you own me, buster, don’t get comfortable.” 

The dhampir grumbles deep in his chest at this, glaring blue daggers at Constantine, but he stops his stalking advance. He seems to have enough self-control to weigh the consequences of breaking his promise not to hurt the man you obviously care about (for whatever reason he cannot understand), over the rewards of the deal you made. If he is patient, he will get what he wants. That should concern you, but at the moment you have one thing on your mind. You dare to turn back to your first beau, far from happy. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you snap. 

“I told you that I like you!” 

“Are we in third grade?”

“It sure fucking feels like it!” he snarls, then starts coughing uncontrollably; horrible, racking hacks that convulse his whole body. 

You see the flash of blood on his sleeve. He is literally coughing up his lungs, and your heart breaks all over again. You try to help brace him, and he tries to hold you away. Finally fed up with his nonsense, you use your superior strength to best him, supporting him while trying to send energy to him through the bond to soothe him. 

Naturally, you find that goddammed brick wall erected between you again. You are so frustrated this time that you pound a metaphysical fist against it. At last it gives, and you push all that wonderful strength you went out in the first place to collect down the line to John. Life, for lack of a better word, and he closes his eyes as it washes through him, leaning on you heavily. 

It almost feels too good, and his relief naturally mixes with his native suspicion. He realizes he doesn’t actually remember what it feels like, to experience even the vaguest semblance of true health.   

“Shit,” he rasps, leaning against you, his face buried in your hair. 

You know they say that still waters run deep, but you still don’t understand the point of him hiding from you. Maybe there is no good reason, and maybe you’ll never truly understand. Even with your arms full of Constantine, you remain painfully aware of the lurking dhampir watching you, too close for comfort. 

What have you done?

When you draw back to look at John, the only word you can think to describe his expression is agony. In turn, you somehow feel relieved and wretched and angry, all at once. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you whisper desperately. “Why couldn't you just tell me?”

“I did,” he answers, and maybe he thinks that's true, but he'd practically spoken in code and it's not your fault that you didn't understand. 

You should just tell him your side too, you reason. You've wasted so much time, and he's dying, and did you really hold back just because you were afraid he would laugh at you? You open your mouth, intending to get it out no matter what the cost, when Wick interrupts coldly, “This is very touching. But I didn’t come here to watch you two canoodle.” 

“I don’t give a fu—” 

You cut Constantine off before he can enrage the dhampir again. “He came here to help us,” you insist. “Come upstairs.”

“This asshole only knows how to help himself,” grouses the man in your arms, and you know he is glaring at Wick over your head. “I don’t trust him.” 

“Fine. Come talk to the vampire he brought us, then we can kick him out.” 

Wick snorts at that. “He can try.”

“You promised me,” you dare to remind the vampire hunter, even if there is a quaver in your voice. 

“As you promised me,” Wick counters right back, offering a mocking little bow with his hand over his heart and a heat in his eyes that involuntarily curls your toes.

Dear God. What have you gotten yourself into?

Constatine’s grip on your hip tightens to the point of bruising, had you still been human. You can hear him grinding his teeth, and you have to stop yourself from laughing or crying with exasperation. This man. Maybe you do have a screw loose. You should kick him in the balls for the way he’d treated you, but all you really want to do is wrap him up in your arms, and cloister yourselves away from the world for a very long time. 

Unfortunately, time is not something you have right now.

♰♰♰

Does the Geneva Convention apply to vampires? 

You're sure what Wick did to the vamp he’d captured is at least immoral, if not downright illegal. And yet, you know this sycophant of don Juan’s was no innocent. You find it hard to feel sorry for him.

It doesn’t take much persuasion to get the injured vamp to spill the beans. He’s already scared shitless of Wick, and adding Constantine only makes him talk faster in hope of some mercy. You doubt he’s going to get it, or maybe but only in the form of a quick death. 

He tells you all that don Juan has had a bone to pick with the High Table for years. Squabbles over power, jurisdiction, and of course, money, resenting the steep tithe he’s had to pay as a matter of course. He formulated a plan to overthrow them, by somehow involving the Son of Satan to wipe the slate clean with a new reign of Hell on Earth. With the exception, of course, that Juan continues to rule in L.A.

Constantine keeps shaking his head in disbelief, now seated at the head of the kitchen table. Wick has taken the seat at the opposite end, and you lean with your arms crossed against the sink, lowkey ready to intervene if they go after each other again. Maybe you’re not the brightest crayon in the box, but you sense the peace between them is tenuous at best no matter what Wick promised you.  

“It’s like going after a roach problem in your house with a nuclear bomb,” gripes Constantine. “What the fuck is he thinking?”

Wick shrugs. “I will kill him. You kill the demons. Problem solved.”

Constantine snorts at that. “Yeah. Easy peasy.”

“Is it not?”

“It never is with these assholes. When I deport them they return to their realm, but they don’t die. They could just keep trying, unless we really figure out what they're up to.”

“How do we do that?”

John lights a cigarette, ignoring you as you glare at him, the big idiot. He blows a cloud of smoke into the air, staring at the cracked plaster of the ceiling like it holds the answer key. 

“I gotta use the chair.”

“At Midnite’s?” 

You have no idea what John’s talking about, but Wick seems to. 

“Yeah.” 

“Can you use it to find where Juan’s hiding? He’s gone to ground like the rat he is. It would save me time.” 

“Maybe. It’s…unpredictable.” 

“I might be able to find him,” you admit reluctantly, staring down at your bare feet. 

Both pairs of dark eyes turn towards you. “How?” they echo each other, almost eerily similar in that moment. 

“The last time you fed me…” you say to John, your cheeks warming with the memory. “Afterwards, I kind of…surfed around the city, while you slept. In my head, I mean. But not…” 

Wick is impressed by this, an eyebrow lifting, the corner of his mouth pulling slightly. John, however, gives you a hard look. “You just…went frolicking around on the astral plane, huh? Do you know how dangerous that can be?”

You laugh, for once more amused than miffed by John’s irritation with you. It helps, that now you’re starting to suspect it comes from a place of caring, rather than contempt. Not that you can tell through the bond now. He’s re-built his walls between you, twice as high and twice as thick as they were before. You know he has more experience with this psychic stuff than you do, but it seems unfair. 

“Well, I did it, and I found Juan. He felt it too. He hit me with something. It woke you up.”

“Yeah. I remember that.” 

You shrug. “I could probably do it again.”

John ashes his cigarette with a flick into an overflowing dish, staring at the reflection in the green glass. “It took a little more than blood to invoke power like that.” Your ears feel like they’re on fire, and how ridiculous is it, that even undead you still can blush?

You dare to meet his eyes, and find a matching warmth therein. It’s his only tell.

“I can give you blood, malyshka,” offers Wick, breaking the heavy silence in the kitchen. “And whatever else you need.” You hate it, that just the thought makes a spear of warmth shoot straight to your loins. 

Constantine narrows his eyes at the vampire hunter, pointing with the smoldering cigarette. “You can keep your cursed blood to yourself, dhampir.”    

“I am not cursed.” 

“No, but you’re a helluva traitor.” 

“Pot, kettle, wizard boy. You think you’re the only one with a bone to pick with God?” 

“Yeah, but you don’t see me skipping off to work for the other side because of it.” 

“The other side,” Wick scoffs. “Two sides, same coin, Constantine.” 

John snorts in answer. “Not exactly.” 

“Oh? Was it not God who gave you this gift you resent so? Was it not God’s priests who fed my pregnant mother to a hungry vampire to create me, God’s weapon against the darkness? My poor mother died in agony after my birth. The priests called her suffering God’s will. That’s what they said when my Yelena and my little Irinushka died too. I finally told them all to go to Hell.”

“So now you get your revenge on God by working for the Underworld?”

“I was made to kill vampires. So it is what I do.” 

Constantine barks with bitter laughter. “This is what you’re getting with this guy, y/n. He doesn't kill vampires to help people. He does it to scare the other vamps into line, so they don’t defy the High Table, and so the most powerful among them can go on exploiting human kind with ease. Trafficking, drugs, you name it, they’ve got their dirty fingers in it. When you said you would rob a drug cartel? He’s the one they would send after you for it.” 

It’s not like you thought Wick was a good man, but for some reason hearing all this hurts your heart. Shocked, you turn to Wick. “Is this true?” you ask hushedly. 

He actually looks regretful, not meeting your eyes. “Yes.”

“Why?”

He shrugs. “I made a bargain, a long time ago. It is the only thing that matters to me now. I must honor it.”

You’re not sure why hearing all this has made you feel sick. You don’t really get stomach upset anymore, but you do not feel well. 

“Milaya…” says Wick pleadingly, willing you to look at him. 

But you just shake your head, staring at the floor. Maybe deep down, there was a part of you that thought maybe, maybe, you wouldn’t have to be so completely alone as the long years went by. But now you know this was a very stupid thought indeed. 

“Ask me,” prompts Wick quietly. “Ask me what the bargain was for.” 

“She doesn’t care,” says Constantine, at the same time you ask: 

“What was it for?” 

Ignoring John, his dark eyes bore into you. “I made a deal with a powerful witch of the High Table, that I would serve until the day I found my Yelena again. I was told that if I waited long enough, someday she would be reborn to me.”

You don’t know why you feel dizzy in that moment, like the floor of the whole world has dropped out from under you. You close your eyes against it, screwing them shut tight as your fingers–claws–dig into the countertop behind you. 

This man has done terrible things–for centuries, it sounds like. But he did them for love. Does that excuse them? No. Does it soften you to him? You hate to admit it, but the truth is…a little. 

You entertain the possibility for a second–you only allow yourself a second–that maybe you are this woman the dhampir thinks you are. A reincarnated soul, searching for her long lost mate, like in the deliciously trashy romances you love to read. Shouldn’t you have some sort of past life memories or dreams? Isn’t that how it always goes in the stories?

You think about how you’ve always felt adrift in this life. Not really interested or committed to anything. How it’s all always seemed kind of silly to you, meaningless even, and the only thing you’ve ever been certain was truly important, was to be kind to others. It’s ironic, maybe, that only after becoming a vampire that you truly gained a sense of purpose in your life, helping those who couldn’t help themselves, and removing evil doers from the population at large. 

You think about how you came to L.A. You practically moved here on a whim, because you were tired and off a bad breakup and you wanted to go somewhere exciting and new. Did fate guide that choice you made for yourself? Was it the unconscious searching for your soul’s true mate? 

If that’s true, then why didn’t you go to New York instead? 

You think about the day you moved into your apartment. Wrestling with your numerous boxes of stuff. Not much, really. Just what you fit into your compact hatchback car, which has since died an inglorious death on the 405. Some jerk had bumped into you on the stairs, nearly making you drop your heavy load of books, only to belatedly steady the box before it spilled, and maybe as an afterthought, you. You remember how you’d looked up, up, up because Jesus he was tall, to find the man now pulling on the addictive smoke that will prove to be his doom. He’d looked down at you with bemused annoyance in those lovely dark eyes. Told you to “Watch it,” and went on his way down the stairs, two at a time on those long legs, clearly in a hurry. 

Rushing off to save the world, or a little precious part of it, you know now. 

You remember how you’d felt like you’d been hit with a frying pan, the first time you saw him. How your heart had seemed to stop then start again, racing doubletime.  

If this was a movie, John Constantine would be your soulmate, the man you were meant to find, the one who fate seemed to be driving you towards. Because since the first time you set eyes on him, you haven’t been able to look away. And if this was a movie…it would be a tragedy, because the man you love is dying, and there is no magic that can truly save him, only delay the inevitable. 

You look between the two men seated at either head of the table. Both formidable, in their own ways, they could have been mistaken for brothers in their appearances. You wish you could deny that you felt a certain something for Wick too. It would be much simpler that way. You don’t really like the idea that things are preordained. You want to believe that you have the power to make choices about life, be they good or bad. But there is something in this dilapidated kitchen, the warm night air whispering through the broken windows, that feels unmistakably like fate. 

“I hope you find her someday,” you tell the dhampir, and you mean it, holding your hands wide in a gesture of peace. “But I don’t really think that I’m the answer you’re looking for.” 

The too-long sleeve of your shirt–John’s shirt–flops as you gesture, and you roll up the sleeve again, feeling more than a little ridiculous despite the looks both men have been paying you. As you crease the fabric up your forearm Wick zeroes in on something peeking out of your sleeve. 

“What is that?” he demands, with way more force than the situation demands. 

You look at him quizzically. “A tattoo?” 

“Let me see.” 

Constantine frowns as he watches this exchange. You feel a little uneasy too, as you pull back the sleeve to reveal the black and white flowers emblazoned on your underarm. “It’s just…something I thought was pretty on the flash wall, when I turned 18.” It had called to you, for whatever reason, on that rebellious expedition with a friend who had also just crossed the threshold into adulthood. Luckily, you still liked it. Lord knows dumber late night decisions had been made in that tattoo parlor in your little town. 

Wick, however, sits back in the chair, laughing to himself like you have told him an inside joke. “Margaritka. What do you call this flower in English?”

“Daisies?” 

Then you remember what he’d said, about the little white flower his late wife had loved to pick near their cabin. 

Oh fuck.

[city-of-ladies]

"Embet Ilen (c. 1801-1851), was a woman of high birth who played a distinguished political role during the Zamana Mesafent (Era of the Judges, 1769-1855) in the region now recognized as Eritrea. Her fame is underlined in nineteenth-century sources by the unusual reference to Ras Woldemichael as the “son of Ilen” without any connotation of disparagement. The society's norm otherwise required one to be called after the father. She was no doubt the most emancipated woman in Marab-Millash (highland Eritrea) in the nineteenth century. 

Very little is known about her upbringing, education, and family history. Even the name of her father is not given with certainty. Killion calls him “Aite Hagos, Kantibai of Zagher” and the informants of Kolmodin refer to him as “Ayte Fisseha, the son of Ayte Seltan” (p. 142), while Yesehaq Yosef uses both names alternately. However, all sources agree that she was extraordinarily intelligent, a persuasive speaker, an astute politician, and a valorous leader. She is said to have personally commanded men in combat and fought herself like one of them, but she was never taken captive in the field. 

Ilen entered politics, not by choice but by the exigencies of the time. She was given in marriage to Ayte Selomon, who was the eldest son of Kantiba Zar’ay of Hazzega, who ruled the greater part of Hamasen—the highlands around Asmara—for over forty years. They had a daughter, Temertsa, and two sons, Woldemichael and Mar’ed. After her husband’s death, she had two more children from political liaisons. Her husband apparently suffered from poor health and was not popular within the family or powerful in the political arena. His own father, Kantiba Zar’ay, was said to have preferred Gabray Habtetsayon, a grandson, to be his heir; but tradition required that he name his son. He did, however, bequeath much of his wealth, including slaves, to Gabray, while Selomon received the hereditary office.

These circumstances developed into a bitter rivalry within the ruling family. Ilen was forced to deal with incessant intrigues during her husband’s lifetime and after his death around 1837 in order to preserve her sons’ right to ascend to the ruling seat. Sometime after his accession to the office in the mid-1820s, Selomon attacked the neighboring district and rival center of Tse’azzega for an unknown reason. His men were quickly routed by the defenders, and he fled to Gura’e, Akkale-Guzay, his mother’s home region. The unprovoked attack revived an old conflict between the two centers of Tse’azzega and Hazzega, which continued unabated until the Italians arrived in the region in 1889.

Ilen mobilized the remaining men of Hazzega and her relations in Karneshim and attempted twice to avenge the defeat of her husband but in vain. Fighting two fronts—Tse’azzega, on the one hand, and Gabray (who split her base), on the other—was too much for her. She then looked beyond the Marab for help. She allied with the ruler of Tigray, Shum-Agame Subagadis, who, having subdued Marab-Millash, appointed Ilen governor of the whole of Hamasen. After the death of Subagadis in 1831, the old rivalries of Marab-Millash broke out anew and Ilen had to look to other quarters for support. She succeeded in winning Dejjazmatch Wubé (also Webe) Hayla Maryam, ruler of all the northern provinces from 1831 to 1855, to her side and was confirmed in her office. She tended to treat her enemies harshly. Consequently, Gabray refused to submit to her rule and lived as a rebel in the heavily forested Ansaba region for many years, a situation which made her all the more uneasy and vigilant. She was generally regarded as excessively revengeful, an attribute which not only terrorized opponents but also brought about her untimely death.

In the late 1840s, she felt it was time for her to give up her regency in favor of her elder son, Woldemichael, who was then in his mid-twenties. Probably she was also tired of the ceaseless conflicts. She retired to the St. Mary Church of Hazzega as a nun. It was here, incidentally, that Kantiba Woldegaber, head of Dimbezan, visited her on his way back home. She received him cordially, in spite of the fact that they had been enemies for a dozen years.

Selomon had allegedly entrusted to him 40 rifles on behalf of his young children, but Woldegaber gave them away to Wubé as a present. When Woldemichael and Mar’ed requested him to hand them over some years later, Woldegaber denied having received any rifles from their deceased father. Besides, he had mistreated and dismissed his wife, the daughter of Ilen. Hence, Ilen had fought and defeated him in a battle some years before this unexpected visit. Woldegaber was murdered after his departure from Ilen’s friendly reception, a tragedy which the people of Dimbezan attributed to a sinister scheme of Ilen. As a consequence, Woldegaber’s relations surprised Hazzega; Ilen escaped and took refuge in a neighboring subdistrict. But her protectors feared an attack by her enemies and extradited her together with two of her small grandchildren, who were eventually tortured to death. This event became one of the underlying causes for Woldemichael’s contemptuous and rancorous attitude toward Hamasen for the next 30 years. "

Bairu Tafla, "Ilen, Embet", In: Kwaku Akyeampong Emmanuel; Gates Henry Louis (eds.). Dictionary of African Biography

[ncrediblechels]

This year was dedicated to returning to my femininity. ✨

Coming back home to my authentic self and focusing on self-care, taking time and being more deliberate with my life.

Visualizing my higher self & showing up as her. Understanding that my submissiveness is✨sacred✨and only shared with someone who is proven they have the ability to protect and lead. It’s my responsibility to be mindful of who I relinquish my power to. 💖

Being more receptive to the love, caring, and support I’m deserving of.

Embracing all blessings that come with leaning into the unknown whether that be new relationships, new opportunities, experiences etc.

Ladies who operate out of masculinity naturally attract feminine men ( if that’s what you like that’s totally fine… not for me though ☺️) which tends to harden you, expose you to people who are combative and low effort. This can lead to crucial consequences to your mental health and wellbeing.

[mara-xx217]

A Grave Misunderstanding- The Unknown/Reader (Dead by Daylight Commission)

This was commissioned by @hexheathen! Hope you enjoy~

All the legends of that terrible place warned you of the consequences of peering into the unknown. Persistence and curiosity will end up getting you killed if you aren't careful...

Warnings: Toxic/Abusive Relationship, General Horror/Suspense, Late Night Shifts, Fear of the Dark, Body Horror, A Series of Terrible Decisions, One-sided Attraction, Obsession, Canon Typical Violence

It was yet another long night for you. Alone, just like you always were… You don’t even know why your boss keeps this shitty theater open for so long. It wasn’t like anyone came here during the weekdays and certainly not after nine at night. There just wasn’t enough business to justify such a thing though… Maybe you should just be grateful that you don’t have to face the public rush every single day like the rest of your coworkers. 

You’re at least away from that jerk that you call a boyfriend… 

You had stopped in your nightly closing duties, sitting in the midst of rundown arcade games that only barely function and a carpet that was totally ruined with soda, popcorn and other movie theater sweets that are far too overpriced to be bought or sold. Your shoes stuck to the ground and you rhythmically picked up and dropped one of your feet as you tested just how sticky the ground was. 

“Ugh, are you serious?!” Your face wrinkles in disgust as you struggle to pull your tennis shoe off the carpeted floor. This was waaay above your paygrade to clean up… Sighing heavily, you pick yourself up off the bench and trudge your way over to the mop bucket that has stood nearly overflowing with dirty water. 

“...I seriously hate this goddamn job…”

You slosh the water around with the mop and sling it against the linoleum floor. Why couldn’t this entire theater be like this? It’s so much easier to clean… You were ruminating on all things that were bad and just plain inconvenient in your life. You hated working alone at night. Your mind wanders too far for your liking and you focus on all the wrong things that shouldn’t really matter to you in the end.

Like the guy that cut you off on your way to work.

Or how your coworker just pushed all their unwanted tasks onto you without consulting you.

Or… Or how your boyfriend stays out for days at a time and never calls or messages you like he once did… 

You sniffle softly as you watch brownish-grey water pool around your feet. It wasn’t just that… There was so much that was bothering you. He didn’t look at you like he once did, he didn’t say ‘hello’ or ask ‘how was your day, baby’... He- He just didn’t… 

“Is… Is it really so much to ask for…? I-I just want to be understood…” Your voice trembled under your breath as you sniffled. Large tears welled in your eyes and streamed down your face. Great, now your makeup is ruined too… You pat your eyes dry with the collar of your uniform and struggle to get ahold of your raging emotions. Why are you even thinking about this stuff at a time like this? It had to be terrible for your already ailing mental health-

“Hey…”

You blink, snorting in the snot that threatens to spill out of your wet nose. 

H-Huh…? Did you just-? 

“H-Hello?” For a fraction of a second, your heart skipped a beat. Your body immediately sobers from the emotional stress that clouded your perception. Your tears dry and you subconsciously hold your breath, uncertain if you should really be waiting for a response or not.

…but you don’t hear anything else. Or… you at least think you don’t.

“Hello…?”

A chill runs down your spine and you suddenly feel like you were being watched by someone.

Or something… 

Everyone knew about the stories. The stories about the Greenville theater, about people disappearing into thin air, disappearing after staying in the theater, alone, disappearing when questioning too many things, disappearing in front of large crowds…

“Hey, you-!” 

You never believed in those stories. Disappearing into thin air in front of a crowd…? Yeah. Right… It’s just one of those urban legends that are always spreading around. You didn’t even hear about them until after you had started working at the theater, and, well… It’s not like you’ve seen or heard anything out of the ordinary.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” 

A nagging feeling was gnawing at the back of your head. Something was making the hairs on your body stand on end. You nervously shove your hands into your pocket, blindly feeling around until you finger the small container of pepper spray that you keep on your person as a ‘just in case’ measure. You weren’t ever sure carrying this around was ever really a good idea, but your boyfriend would always insist that you bring it with you when you were out alone. 

Ah, your boyfriend- 

You blink and the thought escapes to the back of your mind. You had a need to just… double check… Just to see if there were any dumbasses that tried to stay in after closing. It was something that you were warned about, given the theater’s reputation as an urban legend spot. You swallowed thickly and grabbed the mop what good was it going to do? and made your way towards the bathrooms.

“H-Hey! If there’s anyone here, you need to leave! I will call the cops if you don’t!” Your voice echoed in the empty bathroom. There was only the sound of water dripping from one of the faucets. You stepped up to one of the stalls and sucked in a deep breath. You couldn’t see anyone’s feet underneath the stall, nor anyone in the crack in the door.

“H-HEY-!!!”

THUD-!

You slammed the door open and… 

Nothing. 

There was nothing in there. Nothing in any of the stalls. You started to chuckle to yourself, nervous and on edge. Maybe working all these late shifts was taking a greater toll on you than you originally thought… Maybe you should switch to the daytime-

“Come here-” 

You nearly jump out of your skin. For a fraction of a second, you couldn’t feel your own heart beating. The air was trapped in your lungs and your legs refused to work. You were trapped in a freeze response and could do nothing other than strain your ears over the sound of your entire body rolling and shifting in place. Did… Did you really just- 

Against your better judgement, you poked your head out of the women’s restroom. Everything in the opening floor was just as you had left it. Some of the lights were on and the bucket of dirty water was right where it should be. You crane your head to the side, eyes straining in the darkness that lead towards the actual theater rooms. No… No, there’s no way in fucking hell that you’re going down there… This was a sensation that you had nearly forgotten about in your day-to-day adult life. The fear of what could be lurking in the dark… Whatever it was, it had to be someone pulling the shittiest prank in all of existence. Once you get your hands on them- 

You… You think it came from the men’s room. You nudge the door and, of course, it’s open. Why didn’t you lock them before you started?! You should have just backed away and called the cops. So what if it was a false alarm? This is fucking terrifying! You push the door open with the handle of your mop and your eyes scan the harshly lit bathroom. 

There’s… 

Step-by-step, you edge your way inside. You shouldn’t be doing this… This is stupid… This is how dumbasses get killed in slasher movies- 

“I-If… If there’s anyone in here, you b-better come out now! O-Otherwise I’m- I’m gonna k-kick your ass!” You tap your mop against the tiled wall.

“W-With a mop!” 

…as you strained your ears, you heard something. 

“URK-!” 

There was shuffling in one of the stalls. You lowered your stance and strained your eyes for any movement- anything- but couldn’t see a thing. You thought you heard the sound of something… popping? Or maybe crunching, like a wrapper or some pop-rocks in a person’s mouth. Maybe it was chips…? Your mind was running wild and the more it got away from you, the more grotesque the possibilities became. Maybe it was bones breaking… or joints being popped out of place… Or… O-Or…

“Is… I-Is it…?”

Oh

My

Fucking

GOD-

Your heart nearly fell out of your ass. In spite of your body ceasing to function properly, you heard that voice in crystal clear quality. It was soft and light as air, as if the person speaking was frail and hoarse as though they were sickly. You couldn’t gauge much else about them, since it was so quiet and just… short. You couldn't hear any breathing, no wheezing and no… anything, really. The ambient noise in the bathroom was nearly silent, the hum of the fluorescent lights muted and the sound of your own breathing seemingly vanishing just as the voice did. Into thin air.

In… Into thin air- 

“H-He- …hello…?” For some reason, you were drawn to a particular stall. You… You don’t know why you just… stepped up to it, pressing your ear against the cold, metal door. It slightly moved against your weight, showing that it was in fact not locked. You… didn’t push any further. There was a presence on the other side. Someone was there and the annoyance that you felt suddenly shifted into something different.

“Are… you… o-okay…?” What if… What if they needed help? What if they were sick o-or-? 

Your heart seized in your chest as you heard that same terrible noise that you heard moments before. Somehow, you just knew they were leaning towards the door too. This was confirmed when the door was pushed back towards you, catching on the locking mechanism that was on the other side. 

…….

…….

…….

“...don’t leave me behind…”

You had never run so fast in your entire life. You don’t think you had ever screamed so loudly, either. By the time cops showed up, you had screamed yourself into silence. Even though you had told them- told them!- that there was someone that sounded fucked up in the men’s restroom they just-

Sighed.

And rolled their eyes.

They didn’t bother trying to hide that they didn’t believe you. ‘Really, this shit again?’ was asked directly to your face. W-What…? Did they think it was some kind of prank?! That… That you were just making it up for attention?! They proved to you that there was no one in the bathroom but it didn’t make you feel any better. The cops didn’t check the rest of the theater. They just… left you there, telling you that misuse of emergency services was a crime that you could be charged for the next time that you called them like that. Like ‘that’?! Like what?! You were enraged when you got home and couldn’t sleep at all, no matter how exhausted you felt. When you told your boyfriend about this, he rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Well, what did you expect? God, you’re such a drama queen!” 

You instantly burst into tears. 

What… the hell was even happening anymore…? 

You had a few days off from work but you didn’t recover from what happened to you at all. That night kept repeating over and over again in your head when you were awake and in your dreams when you were asleep. You couldn’t talk about this with anyone. Somehow word had gotten out about you calling the cops while working the closing shift and everyone was probably calling you a coward or that you were just an attention whore… 

It’s what your boyfriend thought of you so why not everyone else? 

The voice that spoke to you continuously repeated in your head. Who… was that? Was it really your imagination? No… it was real. You had no proof, of course, but it was just so… so…

‘...don’t leave me behind…’ 

It twisted your stomach into knots. That voice was so desperate… The more you thought about it, the less scared you became. Huh… You were a little surprised. In the dark of your room, thinking about the most terrifying moment of your life started to make you feel more concerned than terrified. That voice was so quiet… so… desperate. If… something wanted to hurt you, it would have, right? You frowned. The longer you began to question things, the more you wondered if it really happened at all. It’s such a well known urban legend spot where people have gone missing. Why didn’t you disappear too? 

As one of the two people that closed the theater down for the night, you had one of the three keys to enter the building. For some reason, your boss trusted you with it, even though it was a place that people liked to break into for the thrill of it. You had never done something like this before and never thought that you ever would, especially given that you had been utterly terrified only a few nights before. You were due back to work the very next day anyway but you didn’t think that you could wait to confirm your suspicions any longer. This might be the stupidest thing that you’ve ever attempted but so what? 

It's not like anyone really gives a damn about what happens to you… 

The theater was pitch black and eerily quiet when you approached it from the back. It was already well past closing time so it was no surprise that your coworker had already cleared out for the night but still… It was a little scary… 

You sucked in a deep breath as you put the key for the employee entrance into its lock. You were a little surprised that it opened, secretly hoping that it wouldn’t have opened for whatever reason. Why wouldn't it work? You know that key works for that door… You were already losing your nerve and you hadn’t even set foot into the vacant building. Shaking your head, you suck in a deep breath and open the door. 

….

Fuck, it’s dark in there… You already regret not bringing a proper flashlight. At least you have your phone… The light from your phone’s flashlight wasn’t great but it was a hell of a lot better than blindly feeling around in the dark. 

“O-Okay… I-I’m coming in…” 

Who were you even talking to? You still weren’t totally convinced that what you heard the other day was even real. If- IF- there was someone or something waiting for you in there then it only felt right to announce your presence when you were practically breaking into the building. W-Well… was it ‘breaking in’ if you had a key…? 

You strained your ears as you timidly stepped inside the break room. Everything was just as it should have been inside. You… don’t know why you expected it to be any different but it wasn’t so… that’s good right? 

R-Right? 

“O-Oh shit-!” You jumped as you accidently scooted one of the break room chairs against the floor. You fumbled and tried to push it back, nearly knocking it over in the process. You stumbled out of the break room and towards the main lobby of the theater, the linoleum floor still a little wet from being mopped early and thus a little slippery under foot. 

Goddamn-! U-Uhh…” You shined your light at your feet and stumbled towards the concession counter, resting your forearm on it as you held your breath for a moment. The silence was unnerving, almost unnatural, just like the dark was. The light from your phone seemed to just halt a mere few inches from your foot. It was so dark that you probably couldn’t see your hand even if it was resting on your nose… Shit, this isn’t right… Why the hell did you come here to this place-?!

“Is someone there?”

You nearly lost control of your bladder and fainted at the same time. Oh my GOD there really is someone here…! 

“H-Hello…?” You pressed your back flat against the counter as you waited. A shiver ran down your spine as you heard a familiar popping sound, one that you had heard the last night that you had worked at the theater.

“Is… Is it you-?” 

God, that voice was so… so strange but you couldn’t put your finger on why that was. It sounded like there was no breath behind the words that were being spoken. As if that made any sense at all… You swallowed the rising lump in your throat and you exhaled softly. 

“I-It’s me… It’s-” You gave the voice your name. The silence was deafening on your ears. Shit… what if it wasn’t looking for you? W-What if- 

“....you came back….” 

It was spoken directly into your ear, as though whoever was speaking was looming directly over your shoulder. A scream was caught in your throat and you sank to the floor, utterly terrified. You waited for something terrible to happen, to be killed or… or something. When nothing happened, you released the breath you were holding and struggled to slow your rapidly beating heart.

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

“...are you going to hurt me…?”

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

“Is… Is it really so much to ask for…?”

Your eyes go wide as you hear the ghost of your own voice being spoken back at you. The air around you is still and you hear the sound of something creaking and straining underneath a great weight.

“W-Wha-?”

“…I-I just want to be understood…” 

That… made you choke up a little. What… What was this…? You were told that the urban legend here was a monster, something that would spirit people away and steal their voices but… 

God, this is really getting to you… 

You couldn’t answer the voice, your throat squeezing shut as you heard the heartbreak in your own voice being parroted back. Parroted? M-Maybe… Maybe it was something more than that… 

You don’t know for how long you sat there on the floor, not moving, not speaking… The presence behind you, leaning against the counter didn’t leave even after you fell utterly silent. You just… didn’t know what to say. What was there to even say? Maybe, if it wanted something else out of you, it would have just taken it. Maybe, like other urban legends, you didn’t do something right and it couldn’t take anything from you yet. Whatever the case, you just sat there and waited. And waited… And waited some more. 

But nothing happened. 

Even after you turned your phone’s flashlight off, nothing happened. The presence didn’t leave and it didn’t say or do anything else. It wasn’t until it was getting close to the opening shift to arrive at the theater did you finally move, and when you did, the presence behind you totally vanished into thin air. 

H-Huh… 

You didn’t tell anyone what you experienced that night. You never brought it up with anyone that you went back and re-experienced something supernatural in that place. Perhaps you were just losing your mind… Perhaps there really was something freaking about that theater that no one wanted to talk about. Whatever it was, you thought that it would probably be a secret that you would have taken to your grave. You got back home and couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened there. Maybe you should have ran far, far away but how could you when it was just getting interesting? And after all…

You couldn’t remember the last time that another being was so kind to you… 

The next time that you went to work, you were still on edge but not nearly as scared as you were the last night that you were there. Like last time, you announced your arrival and got to work cleaning the theater, starting from the back and working your way up towards the front. As the night went on and you didn’t hear anyone calling out for you, you began to become disappointed. Did… Did you upset them in some way? You were genuinely becoming sad, shoulders drooping and sighing heavily as you mopped despondently. 

“Did… Did I do something wrong?” You absentmindedly slapped your mop against the wet ground. You just wanted someone to talk to, even if they were just a figment of your imagination. 

“Shh, it’s alright.” 

Your ears perk up at the sound of a frail voice speaking out to you from behind the concession counter. There was a kitchen that was bathed in darkness and you hesitated as you took a few steps in its direction. 

“H-Hello? Is… Is it you, strange voice?” Was that rude? It might have been rude… You cringed and was about to apologize when they spoke out once again.

“Come here…” 

You couldn’t stop a violent shiver from wracking your spine. There was something about that voice that was totally unnatural but you no longer felt the fear that you once felt. You were in the pitch-black with this being for the better part of a night and nothing bad had happened to you… You stopped just shy of the kitchen’s threshold and you prepared yourself for the being to speak again.

….

….

….

“Hello-” 

It made your heart seize in your chest. How could something be so soft spoken yet so chilling at the same time? After your initial fear passed, you exhaled deeply and you forced a smile to your face. It wasn’t like you were lying by doing this… You’re just a little on edge, that’s all… 

“H-Hey! You’re still here!” You were happy that they were still here, waiting for you. The presence in the darkness was still there, staring at you keenly. It laid heavily on your shoulders but instead of feeling objective terror you felt at ease. 

Though there was still something lingering that made your skin crawl.

You didn’t know what you wanted to say to the being. At first, you didn’t talk about much, just about who you were, what you were doing there, wondering aloud if you were intruding on the being’s home… You didn’t get much of a response out of them, only a few phrases that it seemed to use to communicate with you.

“Yes, that’s right-”

“No, no-”

“What is it?” 

Not all of the voices were the same but they weren’t at all different. It’s like the being was parroting after all, only there seemed to be genuine intelligence behind the responses it chooses to say to you. You weren’t able to learn much about them, given their limited vocabulary, but the most important thing that you learned was that they seemed to linger in the dark places of the movie theater, calling out to you whenever you moved too far away for them to be heard well. After the first few days of speaking to them regularly, you began to turn a few more lights off as you worked, giving the presence more than enough roaming area to stay close to you so you both could talk. 

“It’s just that… You’re probably one of the only people to actually talk to me, you know?” You were idly rolling the powered off vacuum cleaner around the arcade area, procrastinating the work you had left. The area was almost too dark for your liking but your paranoia was muted by the presence that hung over you heavily. You could feel it pressing against you with enough force that your shoulders began to sag from the weight.

“...” 

They said nothing but your ears began to ring. You heard no breathing, only the sound of something shifting and popping in the darkness. You swallow thickly as your skin begins to crawl.

“...him- …him- …him-” 

W-What? ‘Him’? Him who-? Oh. 

“Do you… mean my boyfriend?” Silence answered you but it was filled with anticipation. You hesitated for a moment, trying to judge their intentions but quickly nodded as you grew annoyed with the thought of him.

“Yeah… ‘Him’... What about him? He’s a freaking asshole!” You huffed as you left the vacuum where it was standing, going to sit down on a nearby bench. The presence strained against the confines of the darkness, eager to hear more. 

“I can’t believe he left me here!” 

Your throat grew tight. Y-Yeah, actually… 

“He… didn’t believe me when I told him about you… He made fun of me for being scared that first day…” You chuckled nervously as you tested the ground’s stickiness with the soles of your shoes. It’s unpleasant on your ears, almost as much as the being’s voice as it echoed voices laced with betrayal.

“Why did he leave me?”

“He made a promise-” 

Tears throbbed behind your eyes. You sniffled and rubbed your nose on the back of your jacket sleeve as you remembered the look of pure annoyance on your boyfriend’s face as you told him about what was a terrifying encounter that you had while you were alone at work in the middle of the night. 

He really doesn’t care about you, does he? 

“I… I think he wouldn’t care if I just disappeared one night… “ Your voice trembled slightly as you struggled to swallow down your emotions. 

“Do you… really make people disappear? Maybe… Maybe if I disappeared one day, then everyone would be better off…” You laughed bitterly, instantly feeling a bolt of fear running through your body. There was tension in the air and after a moment of silence, the being spoke out of the darkness.

“....don’t leave me here…” 

It made you choke up a little bit… You shook your head and tried to smile, ultimately failing as tears streamed down your face. 

“S-Sorry… ‘m sorry…” 

You had nearly forgotten what it felt like to be needed by another person. You really should leave that jerk… You don’t deserve to be upset every single day of your life for no damn reason… 

“He should- G-Go away!” 

You were surprised by the forcefulness of the being’s words. It sounded like something was squirming in the darkness, squirming in anticipation. 

“W-Well… Yeah… I-I guess so… But-” You thought about it a little bit. You thought about all the times that he was mean to you, that he yelled at you or ‘forgot’ important things or when he ignored you for days at a time…

“Y-You know what-? Yeah. I do wish he’d just leave!” You scoffed, feeling less and less sad the more you thought about it. 

“Maybe I should leave him before he tries to dump me! I don’t even think that loser can find anyone that will put up with his bullshit…” You stood up and wiped your face again. You were still feeling down but you were already a lot better than you were before. 

“Thanks for that. I think I needed to get that off my chest…” You waited for a reply but didn’t receive one. Odd… The presence wasn’t nearly as strong as it was before. In fact… it was practically gone. Huh… 

Their sudden departure made you sadder than you were willing to admit. Were they gone for good? You hoped not… You were going to miss them if they somehow disappeared… The rest of your shift you worked, dejected and upset. The only thing of note that happened was your phone going off in your pocket. 

BZZT!

BZZT!

You nearly missed it, since you always had it on silent mode. You were lost in thought and your body was a little stiff from constantly moving so you didn’t realize you were getting a call until after you missed it. You furrowed your brows and frowned. 

Who would be calling you at this time of night? 

Your brows raised up to your hairline as you scrolled through the dozens of phone calls that you had received in the past half hour. Over and over again, the same number called you, sometimes hanging up and calling you again before the call went to your voicemail. You had an additional eight voicemails, all of which were from the very same person that was calling you repeatedly.

Your boyfriend… 

With trembling fingers, you clicked on one of the voicemails, hearing your boyfriend’s annoyed but clearly terrified voice on the other end of the line as he yelled at you for being a ‘pathetic, childish bitch’ for playing such a ‘stupid fucking prank’ on him. What… What was he talking about? You didn’t do anything! Heart pounding out of your chest, you called him back, not bothering to listen to his other voicemails. Maybe if you did, it would have saved you… Maybe, but-

You didn’t receive an answer. No matter how many times you called, he never answered you back. Your entire body was trembling as the possibilities ran rampant through your head. 

Was he pranking you?

Maybe someone was pranking him…

W-What if he’s been hurt?

W-What… W-W-What if- i-if- 

Maybe if you called the police this time, it would have made the difference. But they didn’t help you last time. They scolded you for calling them. If there’s a problem, you might need to solve it yourself…

You need to face your problems instead of just running away or relying on others to help you… 

The home that you shared with your longtime boyfriend was dark. Unsurprising, since even when you left work early, it was still past twelve a.m.. You aren’t sure what you were looking for. His car? There. The door? Closed and locked. The windows? Also all seemed closed and locked… 

Unlocking and stepping into your own house felt foreign and alien… It’s like you have never been inside of this place before, in spite of the fact that you have lived here for some years. You strained your ears for a moment, holding your breath as you simply-

-listened.

…

You couldn’t hear anything whatsoever. It was just like most nights that you come home, only even more hostile, if such a thing were possible. You left the front door open as you gathered the courage to speak out.

“H-Hello?” 

Silence. Were you losing your mind? Maybe he was asleep, as he always was, and would storm out of the bedroom, pissed off that you woke him up yet again. You don’t think you would have minded that much… Anything was better than this terrible silence.

“H-Hey, are you up there?”

…again, nothing. You swallowed thickly as you debated on what to do. Maybe you should just call the cops… You have more than enough reason to do so, right? As you pulled your phone out, you heard your boyfriend calling you from upstairs.

“H-Hey-!”

The way he called your name made you cringe. As much as your vital organs seized violently, a wave of relief washed over you. So he was okay then?! 

“H-Hey! S-Sorry for waking you up! I was just so worried about you-! Why did you call me so much?!” You waited for a reply as you began to take your shoes off. Silence. Is he fucking serious right now?! Giving you the silent treatment when he’s the one that called you nonstop?!

“-i-it’s not funny! Knock it off!” 

You furrowed your brows.

“W-What? What are you-?” You walked towards the stairs.

“-come here! Now!” 

Again with that tone… You were getting annoyed the longer this went on.

“What’s your fucking problem, dude?! What the hell did I do to deserve this right now?! Huh?! Hey! I’m fucking talking to you!” Your patience has eroded beyond what you were capable of dealing with. You angrily stomped up the stairs, faltering as you nearly reached the top.

“...p-please-” 

Your boyfriend was whimpering your name. Instantly the rage that you felt dissolved into something much more terrifying. Panic began to spread throughout your body and you fished out your phone and began to dial the police. 

“H-Hey?! Hey?! Are y-you okay?! Hey-?!” You called his name and began to back down the stairs. Fear made you tremble but hearing him calling out to you again, only much weaker this time, spurred you into action.

“S-SHIT-!!! HANG ON-!” You tripped over your own feet as you rushed up the stairs. He didn’t sound like he was playing around! He actually s-sounded hurt or- or-!

As you ran down the top floor hallway, you yelped as you slipped in something wet and sticky that coated the floor. You had to flounder around as you desperately tried to regain your balance, your hand slapping against the wall as you struggled to reground yourself. 

“W-What-?! W-WHAT?!” 

A metallic smell hits your nose with enough intensity to make you gag. The little surge of confidence that pushed you forward suddenly died in your throat as you freezed in place. Fear had gripped your limbs coldly and you couldn’t move no matter how much you needed to. Your breath was squeezed out of your tightening throat and you felt pure terror as you heard your boyfriend call out to you again. Or what sounded like him, anyway…

“P-Please- C-Come! PLEASE! …don’t leave me here…” 

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head as the door to your bedroom slowly pushes open. You heard a hauntingly familiar popping and cracking noise, like pop rocks in someone’s mouth or someone’s bones being popped out of joint or broken all together. Bile burns the back of your throat as something your eyes couldn't fully comprehend clumsily stumbled out of the bedroom. Something hard slammed into the door and a glint of something wet and sharp shined in the dim light of your home. You blink your eyes repeatedly, tears falling down your face as you wonder if this was really happening. It’s just a bad dream, right? It has to be a bad dream!

I-It’s only a- a bad- a b-bad-

“You’re probably one of the only people to actually talk to me, you know-?”

The second that you finally saw it in all of its terribleness, you opened your mouth to scream. 

@prettycutebunny, @infinitewhore, @kennbb, @slutwithadegree, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow, @sinlessdesire, @hoemine, @memoryofheather, @horny-3